Awareness Opens the Door For Change

Image by @AaronAmat

This essay was originally published in my February 2026 newsletter. All content was written by me (not AI)

Awareness is the first step

In my work with clients, we often get to a place where they share that worry that they’re not making progress.

They’ll share that the “problem” hasn’t gone away. And that it keeps coming up.  That they seem to cycle through it regularly. And they’re frustrated.

But as a therapist and soul guide for highly sensitive women, I share that maybe awareness of the issues isn’t a problem. That maybe, the reason you continue to be aware is because you have more awareness! It’s not that the issue is any worse or better. It’s just that now, you’re able to see more clearly how it’s impacting your life each time it shows up.

A radical thought, right? Your being able to notice the issue is a good thing!

What I’ve learned over the many years in working as a therapist and as a sensitive soul guide for women is that awareness has to be the first step.

Because if you’re unaware nothing will change. You just continue doing what you’re doing, getting frustrated with yourself without a vision for how things could be different.

Awareness brings clarity. It creates the ability to make choices. Awareness brings about change. Awareness—all by itself—creates new neural pathways in your brain!

Because when you’re aware of a problematic behavior or a desire to do things differently, you’re also recognizing that there are alternatives. And that nudge alone opens the path for change.

That means your brain learns the new ways of doing things too. But when the new path isn’t well-worn you might not always choose the new way.

You can’t make change unless you have some awareness of how you’d like to do things differently.

Here’s a very simple way to think about creating new neural pathways…

Imagine you’re a deer walking through the forest and coming to a well-worn path. This path has been traveled down by many deer over the years. But it’s also a path that’s well known to hunters, wolves, coyotes…One day you think, “I wonder if there’s another way I can get to the stream with less danger.” And so, you look around for other ways to go. Sure enough, there’s a small break through the underbrush. But it’s pretty overgrown. It takes effort to go this new way. But you persevere. With these first steps the path has begun to clear. But it’s still straggly.

Now, each time you come to the fork in the pathway you have a choice to make. You might decide to go the new, more challenging way. But the old way feels easier or familiar— because it’s so well worn—and sometimes you automatically go that way, because it’s so well-traveled.

But you now have an awareness that there is a choice.  Even after the decision was made you can reflect back that you could have gone the new way.  That awareness reinforces the new path, even when we pick to old one.

The more you—and the deer—travel this new path the easier and easier it becomes.

That’s what occurs in your brain. Each time your awareness allows you to make different choices you’re creating the new pathway. But it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes awareness and practice.

So, how do you bring about more awareness so that things start shifting in your brain, in your life, in you? How do you forge a new path so it’s easier to travel?

Two of the best ways I know of are mindfulness and meditation.

I know when I say meditation there are some of you that immediately say, “I can’t meditate.” I hear you. And I wonder if you have a misconception of what I mean by meditation.

I don’t mean sitting quietly on you own trying to shut off all thought. Because really, how many people can do that?

Meditation doesn’t have to be hard. There are so many options for guided meditation out there in the world—apps, videos, audio tracks—that make it easy for you to choose what works for you.

You can meditate while walking, sitting, standing. Eyes open or closed. You get to choose the meditation style that works for you.

The idea behind both meditation and mindfulness is that you quiet your busy mind and bring awareness—yes, there it is again, awareness—to your experience. A busy, worrying, stressed out mind makes it hard to be aware of anything other than the worry.

As I said before, when learning anything new, you need practice. And that goes for quieting your mind too.

Practicing the stillness of being with your thoughts, your feelings, your body, your being, grows your awareness of you and your needs.

Here are a couple of simple ways to slow the roll. To get quiet. To bring in more awareness to your inner world.

Breath awareness

Find a breath awareness meditation. They’re out there and many are free. Bringing attention to your breath as it flows in and out helps your body feel more at ease. It helps you stay present with your body as you breathe in and out.

Even three slow deep breaths can help you slow down and re-center your awareness inward.

Here are a few from insight Timer.

And one from me.

Body grounding awareness

Sit or stand. Make yourself comfortable. Notice your feet on the floor. Rock your feet back and forth. Clench your toes and release them a few times.

Sway your body side to side gently. Notice how that feels. Cross your arms and hold yourself while you sway.

Now, still the movement and just notice any sensations in your body.

Please Remember to Be Kind

Be kind to yourself while practicing. You might continue to do things the old way. And that’s okay. Remembering that there was a different choice is growth too.

Building awareness is like building muscle. As your awareness muscle grows, you’ll be able to handle more, make different choices, and grow those new neural pathways.

If you’re looking for a community built on compassion and kindness you can learn more here- Circle Membership.